Journaling

When I was in the fifth grade, my teacher asked us to keep a journal. She asked us to include our thoughts or questions about what we were doing in class or to share as we chose. She would occasionally collect them and read them, answering questions and responding to our thoughts in the margins.

By the end of the year, I was hooked on journaling! I have kept a personal journal ever since, which means I've been doing it for the past 30 years. I occasionally keep one that is dedicated to something specific: a prayer journal, or a gratitude journal, for example. Mostly, though, my journal houses everything from decisions I'm trying to make to to-do lists to venting about emotions to what I'm watching on TV.

My journal serves several purposes for me:
1. It helps me figure out complex situations, how I feel about them, and what I'm going to do about them.
2. It allows me to hear my own voice, my opinion, unchecked and unfiltered.
3. It is a place for wrestling with my emotions and naming them.
4. It helps me realize how God was present in my day and how I responded to Him.
5. It soothes me after a busy day and helps me relax.

Recently, I've begun a prayer journal. In the past, I've attempted this, but stopped because I felt keeping a separate spiritual journal was too compartmentalized. I wanted to integrate all parts of myself together, rather than separating them, so I preferred to bring up spiritual matters as they came up in my regular journal. But when I realized some of my prayer practices were slipping, I knew that I needed to focus more. I thought writing them down would help.

I started with my morning meditation. Each morning, I connect personally to one of the readings of the day. This is done through slow, reflective reading, opening oneself up to a word or phrase that strikes a chord, and praying with that. I'm not a morning person, and my struggle to be alert early in the day was holding me back. I decided to write down that word and what it meant to me in a journal. It made a big difference, helping me focus and reflect better. It's become a part of another prayer practice I have, the examen at the end of the day. Now, when I look back on my day, recalling how God was present and how I was blessed or challenged, I journal about it.

These practices are not only good in the moment. Occasionally, I'll reread the journal, looking for patterns or insights that perspective gives. It's interesting to get a glimpse into myself this way. One of my favorite journaling practices is find the Most Important Part of Today. It doesn't have to be a dramatic moment, or a positive one; it's always the part that means the most to me as I look back prayerfully on my day. It helps me to learn something both about myself and God. I see what I consider important, but I also see how God reveals Himself to me. This is most interesting when I reread entries. I'm finding that several aspects of my life keep coming up: my life with my community, living in a balanced way, and personal growth.

Another practice I've been trying lately is journaling with my emotions, stopping to write what I felt and when. The idea is the same with this, that I'll be able to look back on the entries and notice something about myself and where God is present to me. I haven't reached that point yet; I just started.

My prayer journal is also flexible. When I try a new form of prayer or feel inspired to do something different, that goes in there, too. I write quotes from spiritual books I'm reading. Some practices that I've been consistent about writing about may give way to others in the future. What matters is that the journal supports a full prayer life based on a close relationship with God!