The Holy Spirit

Today is the Vigil of Pentecost, and I find myself reflecting on the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit. They are numerous, and each powerful, but some of them have meant more to me than others.

One gift of the Spirit that I pray for is wisdom. I'm naturally "book smart", and when I was in school, I enjoyed using my intellectual capacity. That meant two things: absorbing information with ease and taking harder, more academic classes. I built a lot of my identity on my intelligence, using it to define both my present and future. When I entered religious life, I realized how narrow and limited that was. I started seeing myself more wholistically, and wanted to move closer to God. My attitude toward intelligence focused on me and what I can do, but wisdom is about knowing who God is, and who I am in relation to Him. I hope that I continue to grow in wisdom, and to use my abilities to serve others. Intellect is one of the gifts of the Spirit, but it's different than wisdom.

Another gift is gentleness. I'm from northern New Jersey, in the metropolitan area outside of New York City. We speak a second language there: sarcasm. I didn't realize how much a part of my speech pattern that had become until I started to travel as a young religious. I would go to other regions of the United States, where people spoke more sincerely and less sharply. I started to realize how some of my comments were being received by people, and I began to speak in a kinder way. Also, it's part of my personality to be sensitive. There was a time when I only applied that sensitivity to myself, but it has become a great source of empathy for others. I've become a better listener and a more tactful, assertive person than I have been. I consider myself a gentle person, because of God working within me.

This next one is actually a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It's joy. In some places, it's translated as zeal. For a while there, I thought that I didn't have this one. I'm not the most emotional person; I don't laugh or cry easily. I'm more of a "thinker" than a "feeler". I'm not easily excitable, and I generally operate in an even-keeled, logical way. It made me wonder if I was a joyful person, and specifically, if I found joy in the Lord. As I committed myself to the Lord as a young sister, though, I recognized in myself a quiet, deep-seated satisfaction, that was truly grateful. The commitment that I have toward the work that I do for the community and my ministries is an expression of the connection that I feel to God.

The last one that I want to describe is patience. I haven't always been patient; coming from a fast-paced part of the country and being able to understand most matters quicker than others had the opposite effect on me at one point in my life. The turning point was the call to service that I received, and as I started to value relationships more and more, I became more patient and accepting of others. Living in community has definitely helped me to grow in patience!